I know that I am not alone in this, but I just had one of those weeks where everything just turned to kaka. For me it started with an attempt to negotiate the payment of an unexpected medical bill which dated back to January. That bill was from the ER doctor who saw me for a whole five minute to treat my first and hopefully last kidney stone. Anyone who’s ever been to the ER for a sudden illness knows well that the doctor’s bill is considerably more then the standard office visit. I didn’t get this bill until last week, as my insurance delayed signing off on it. The billing company being less then sympathetic did agree to allow me to break the balance up into increments, but not nearly as many as I would have liked. Alas My poor, poor budget.
Then I got into my car to run some errands. I drive a little five speed Neon. Its aging, but its cute, and gets really good gas mileage. No matter how hard it tried, the car would not shift into reverse. I called the first male I could think of. my boyfriend, after expressing sympathy, and calming my near panicked state, offered to try to find someone to see about taking a look at the car. I had just had the car serviced the previous Friday to the tune of $200 and was dreading what the new surprise was going to cost me. I put all but one of my errands on hold and went right to the mechanic suggested to me.
They took a look and announced that a little plastic part that attached the clutch cable to the gears had worn out and it needed to be replaced. Yay! A simple repair! BUT, and yeah there is always one of those when it comes to cars and “simple repairs”, they couldn’t buy just that little plastic part. The the only way they could get that part was to get the whole shifting cable assembly with the plastic part attached, AND the only place in town that had those was the local Dodge dealership. Dealerships are almost always the most expensive auto parts store in town. The part wouldn’t get here till the next day. It still took yet another day, to make arrangements to get the car repaired around my work schedule. Until then I made sure I parked where I didn’t have to back up. I got the bill and mourned the hit it took to my small savings.
The next morning, I get a call from the clinic where I just had gotten my mammogram the day before. They wanted to get more views of my 36Bs. Now this has happened once before, where they take more views via the boob-a-squisher, and declare that everything is just fine. But, it did nothing to help my anxiety levels. I am of course expecting a repeat of last time, but still working on quelling the what-if’s scenarios that are playing non-stop in the back of my brain. It doesn’t help that I possess a rather overactive imagination.
Then the last little straw appeared. It was that event that set my sleep meter into an off position. It was really a small matter, but sometimes that is all it takes. I had a client who used to visit our salon and had moved away. She being in the area visiting decided to return to us. She mentioned that the salon where she’d been going to in Missouri had gotten her color formulation perfect and could I get that. As it was one of our sister salons, I knew it shouldn’t be a problem. Considering the week I’ve had, I should have known better. The color formula was 100% WRONG!!! Thankfully I was able to do a quick adjustment via some quickly, and well placed lowlites and she was much happier with the results. A hair disaster was averted, but my frustration over being given bad information took awhile to go away.
So here I am at my desk at 6am after sleeping a whole six hours, 24 hours ago. Yeah, insomnia struck and it struck hard. Stress will do it to me every time. The series of unfortunate events piled-drived my anxiety meter to the point that my wide awake would remain wide awake. I’ve struggled with my body’s refusal to sleep most of my life. It is also why coffee is one of my closest friends.
However, despite the crappy week I’ve had, I can’t let it get me down, although I certainly know that it easily could. I’ve been there, and I don’t like how letting life overwhelm me makes me feel. I know that things happen that I wish I wouldn’t. That is life. Life is generally not what we want or expect. That is what makes it interesting. I also know that I am not alone in this grand adventure called life. I have friends and family who I can count on for love, support and a shoulder to whine on. I do have a little in savings, as my frugal ways have kept me in the black…or is it grey? I also know that weeks like the one I just experienced are just bad weeks. They usually don’ t tend to continue unabated.
I also have this odd faith that reminds me that I know a God who adores me, and understands that life sometimes seems rather crappy. Just when I start feeling really sorry for myself, I seem to always get these quite little reminders that I don’t have it near as bad as I am letting myself assume. Others may disagree, and they are welcome to do so, but I believe that those little reminders are God letting me know that it will be ok, it could be worse, to look at what I have instead of what I haven’t, and that I am not alone. That belief has gotten me through much tougher times then this.
While it is true that a week like this one will render me wide awake at 4 a.m. for a few nights, that too will pass. My brief relapse of the insomnia that used to plague me will be gone soon and I will be scaring the cats with my rhapsodical. Best of all, by the time many of you read this, I will be at the beach. Hurricane passing by or not, I fully intend to relax, dip my toes in the sand, sip a fruity drink, and listen to the waves from my balcony.
p.s. Yes I know that I posted this later in the day, but my grammar is much better after a pot of coffee, some good old fashioned editing and a nap.