Last weekend, I decided to join a pick up volleyball game at my step-grandson’s baseball banquet. It didn’t take long to discover that what few athletic skills I’d possessed had fled, but when I got hit in the head, the sudden pain in my neck prompted me to quit.
That is when I realized that I’m no longer young. I mentioned this on a web forum and soon others were sharing their thoughts. I told my darling spouse about this and soon his additions had me in stitches. He’s older than I by nine years, so he’s been at this getting older than me game for awhile. Plus he is extremely funny, one of the many reasons I adore the man.
A friend of mine is fond of saying “Getting old is not for sissies.” It isn’t, you are going to discover that all your joints exist, especially when they don’t work anymore, or let you know they are there by aching persistently. You are going to find that what you once did without thinking, like trimming all the bushes in the front yard with a pair of hand trimmers, is going to render you largely incapacitated for a week, a painful sloth for the following two. My grandmother says that as you get old, “you sag, you spread, you shrink.” So far I am two out of three. What I hope is that I don’t ever lose my sense of humor. I am also glad I have friends and family who’s sense of humor enriches my life so wonderfully. I hope they don’t mind that I promptly purloined some examples of their delightful wit
So, in case you haven’t realized it yet; you know you are getting old…
When that snap crackle pop you hear is not coming from your bowl of cereal.
When you hear your 20 something child’s favorite radio station while on a trip with them, and you think…”you call this music??”
When a friend, who also happens to be a mortician, shakes your hand and checks your pulse at the same time.
When you have to get up to pee four times during the night…and you are not pregnant.
When, the array of pills bottles on your bathroom counter would frighten a DEA agent.
When wearing shoes that fasten with velcro make perfect sense.
When there are more ice packs in your freezer than food.
When someone asks you how you are doing, and 45 minutes later, you are just getting to the list of medications you are needing to take for all the symptoms you’ve already mentioned.
When you take more pills every morning then you have relatives.
When you are wearing a strappy nightie, and your first thought is going to bed…and sleeping.
When your husband sees you in that nightie, and thinks the same thing.
When you can’t wait to get home from walking the dog or any other physical activity so you can put your feet up.