Bon Apetite’


            I have a curious memory from when I was very small. My brother Alan and I are sitting at the kitchen bar at our house and are staring at the bowls sitting in front of us. Inside the bowls is a curious green liquid that my mother tells us is leek soup. The leeks, grown in our backyard garden, were something not commonly grown in the foothills of North East Tennessee, at least not in the mid-60′s, but somehow my mother had found some seeds and grown them for the purpose of bringing just a little bit more of her French culture to us. The color of the soup was just odd enough that I was not quite sure that it was actually edible. I would have preferred a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but soup was what was on the menu. My mother urged us to eat, telling us how delicious leek soup was, demonstrating the deliciousness of the concoction by eating from her bowl placed on her side of the bar as she stood in our small kitchen.

            My mother was originally from France and had come to the US with the company she had been working for. Within a year she had met my father and nine months later I was born. One of my brothers followed 15 months later. She threw herself into trying to be the best wife and mother she could for us. She also tried to educate us in French culture, even though we were firmly on American soil. She taught my brother and me French until my Dad complained that he couldn’t understand what his own children were saying. Another one of the ways she tried to instill French culture was through food. I don’t remember too many foods that she actually served us other then the leek soup and the Quiche Lorraine that she made almost every weekend, but according to my father, she often introduced things to the evening meal that were new and exotic, especially to my Dad, who was born and bred in Jacksonville, Florida.

He tells of the time that she served him mussels, and snails. To this day he is not quite certain where she found those French delicacies in a small southern town hours from the nearest ocean or edible snail habitat. Somehow she did so that she could introduce my dad to something she happened to be fond of. My dad, being willing to try anything once, ate what was served him, but never requested a repeat of shellfish cuisine. Shellfish and rabbit stew were about the only things that my father mentions that he didn’t like about her cooking. Once, while at work, my father noticed a group of secretaries staring at him. It was something that he had noticed off and on for several weeks. His ego and his curiosity getting the better of him, he asked the women why they kept staring at him during lunch.

“Oh we’re not staring at you.” one of them replied. “We were staring at your lunch and were wondering if we could tackle you so we could steal it.”

Smiling at my dad, she added, “Every day you bring the most wonderful looking lunches.” My dad, his ego slightly deflated as he realized that he was not the source of the secretaries’ admiration, explained that his wife made lunch for him every day, and thanked the women for the compliments to the cook.

My mother was also an organic cook, long before it became in vogue here in the U.S. My parents grew their own vegetables, and my dad made his own compost for fertilizing the vegetables. They got eggs and unpasteurized milk from a local farmer, from which my mother would make butter and a soft cheese from the cream and the whey she skimmed off the milk. She also made all our bread, nutty, brown and absolutely delicious. The only time I had store bought bread was when I found myself at someone else’s house. I didn’t really like the store bought bread. I found the flavor and texture far inferior then the sliced goodness my mother produced on a weekly basis.

I am not exactly sure why she went through all the trouble she did to prepare our food herself, or make most of her own clothes as well as mine and my two brothers, but she did. Maybe it was because of her own childhood, growing up in occupied France during World War II. She lived in a time of hardship and uncertainty during the occupation, made worse by the German soldiers keeping people from moving about freely as well as the Allied bombing of nearby factories and rail lines in hopes of keeping those facilities out of German hands. Her family, like most of the families in her town, often ate their suppers in bomb shelters while airplanes dropped munitions from several thousand feet above them. Even in the years following the end of the war, things must have been difficult while communities began to rebuild what had been lost because of the war. It is quite possible that skills learned by my mother ended up serving her well when she moved to the states and a completely different culture.

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The fall of the yard goddess.


Once upon a time I could do just about anything I wanted. I’ve never been exactly physically fit or athletic, but I had stamina and the willingness to at least attempt the task set before me. Even when chronic and often quite painful back issues started to become an issue, I often muscled right through getting done what had to be done. I’ve long enjoyed working in the yard, keeping flower beds neat and blooming, and shrubs contained in the spaces I wanted them to remain. I’ve mowed lawns and used weed eaters, but never liked that chore. But I’ve done it, when I had to

Saturday, I decided to do what I’ve always done, trim my bushes using a trusty set of old school, hedge trimmers. I have six boxwoods, a light leafed monstrosity, two smaller boxwood type shrubs in the front, and two more boxwoods and a gardenia on the side of our house. The last time they were done, Gary did them. He admittedly doesn’t like trimming shrubs, but wanted to help me.  Although I appreciated his efforts, I prefer how they turned out when I did them better.

I should have stopped at the first three. My neck had been twinging off and on for weeks. I’d gotten some adjustments at our  chiropractor, including one that morning. But the others looked so bedraggled in comparison to my neatly squared bushes. I went on.

By the time I’d gotten to the sixth bush, I was getting pretty tired. Gary stepped in helped with the two small bushes and the back of the last boxwood in the row. Then I turned my attention to the behemoth. I don’t know what it is, other than it grows a good two to three feet every six months doesn’t bloom and has large silvery, slightly waxy leaves and woody branches. I wish it would get aphids and die, but its likely to outlive me. As tired as I was feeling, plus a bit sore, I just couldn’t wait and tackle that shrub another day. It had to be done, and done that instant.

Tackle I did, with a vengeance. I took three feet off its height, (still taller than me) and reduced its girth so it wasn’t crowding out it’s neighbors. I reached up to pull some cut branches from the top, and my hedge trimmers just magically appeared where my right middle finger happened to be. You’d think such a small cut wouldn’t bleed so much. I went inside washed it thoroughly then wrapped it up in a paper napkin, fastening it to my finger with tape. I sent a picture of proof of my clumsiness to Facebook, then went back outside to finish up. I didn’t need to. Gary had finished up what little was left and had swept all the clippings up under the bushes where they would eventually make home grown mulch.

We cleaned everything up, had supper and realized that we’d overdone things a bit. I didn’t know how much I had till the next morning. I was miserable all day Sunday. There was literally no position that was comfortable. My neck hurt and more so my shoulder with the pain radiating down my left arm. Lying down was impossible, sitting up only really painful, so I spent a somewhat uncomfortable night on the recliner, sleeping only with the aid of an Ambian. This morning I lasted till just before lunch, before I could stand the pain no longer.

So, back to the chiropractor I went. I’ve definitely injured my neck. The jury is still out on the severity, but hopefully its nothing like a disc ruptured and only a severe strain. I was told, quite bluntly to never pick up hedge trimmers again, not even the nifty electric ones. I got adjusted and am now at home, on the recliner doing the thirty minutes on, thirty minutes off routine with ice packs. I’m having to come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer young, and vibrant, but older, and with a different, less physical form of vibrancy. My days of standing on ladders, wrestling shrubs, lugging bags of potting soil and lime are coming to a close. I can still dig in the dirt, planting bedding plants, watering patio tomatoes or pulling a few weeds, but the heavy work is going to have to be passed on.  This yard goddess, wants to live to see more gardens  and yards grow, and bloom and thrive, while still be able to do so under my own power for awhile yet. So I am retiring the heavy tools…or so I tell myself.

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Some Moms


Moms come in all shapes and sizes.

Some are young,

Some are older,

Some stay home all day working

Some work away from home, and stay home when they can

Some are impeccably dressed

Some exist in ketchup stained t-shirts

Some kissed their babies fresh from the womb,

Some met first met their children, all ready full grown

Some only got to parent for a short time, before death overtook them

Some share their children with step moms and step grands.

Some work two jobs to put food on the table

Some do without so their babies don’t have to

Some have already raised kids once

Some have a partner in the parenting task

Some go it alone, being Dad as well as the Mom.

Whichever the configuration a mom is to be found

Their input in our lives has not gone unnoticed.

Happy Mother’s Day

 

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And the Bodice Ripped.


For those that don’t personally know me, I’ll reveal that I am what I have dubbed a book-a-holic. Yep, hopelessly addicted to the written word is what I am. I started ruining my eyesight by reading in the dark before going to sleep, not long after I learned to read at age five. My personal  poison is eclectic in format as I like a variety of genres and topics. History, biography, poetry, theology, philosophy, humor, adventure, mystery, fantasy, and any combination of that list are going to keep me oblivious of the world around me as I race to the next chapter.

I enjoy characters I can relate to, whom are believable, and I can either cheer them on or gleefully anticipate their demise. I enjoy plots that I don’t easily guess how its going to turn out. In other words, if you surprise me, I’m sure to read the next book that author has written. I like well written setting, with the writer giving me just enough for my adept imagination to fill in the blanks. I am thankful that there are loads of books, fiction and non-fiction that fill that bill.

I got a kindle for my birthday. For a book addict like me, it simply means that I just added greater portability and access to get my fix. I discovered free books to download from Amazon, and tried several titles. The classic ones are better, but I have found a couple recent titles that were fun. I also learned I can borrow books from the library and download them right to the Kindle. I’ve found some great books that others have recommended and am working my way through them.

Sometimes however, I deviate from my usual fare and try a romance, also known as the good ole bodice ripper. I suspect the books are named thus, because the girl on the cover is almost minus a top. Whether or not the man is wearing one is optional, but you can guess where he’s looking. There are so many and as a rule I find them dreadful. I keep trying them from time to time, usually after a couple of books that are deep and thought provoking in content, to decompress mentally. They are so damned predictable, and utterly unrealistic.

Take the one I’m halfway through now. This formula has worked for the last 10 romances I’ve read. Those of who are huge romance fans, skip to the end.

He’s tall, dark and perfectly muscled. He’s the typical warrior type but has a softer side that he doesn’t really let anyone know about.

She’s shorter, has that “perfect” figure, with the D cup bra size, the itty bitty waist and a perky butt. She’s innocent and in obvious peril, or will be at some part of the book.

They meet and instantly he’s in serious, danger of splitting his trousers from the sudden onset of lust. All he can think of is getting her naked, but he doesn’t because he’s also noble and has to get her out of her predicament  so he can shelter and protect her, hovering over her like a mother hen or a real close stalker.

She’s attracted to him too, very much so and can’t resist covertly checking out his physical attributes. She insists she can take care of herself, which is ridiculous, considering her dire need for rescue/assistance/help with her really big problem.

Finally they are alone, and he is able to keep his pants safe to wear another day. Its the first big sex scene. There will be one more near the end of the book. The first one will last at least 12 pages, involve most orifices, and appendages. They’ll thrash around for what seems an eternity, till all the fireworks is over and the chapter ends.

I always skip that part. I know, but I’ve read one or two sex scenes and they just don’t deviate all that much. I know what’s going to happen, so I am moving on. To me the sex scene is the annoying informercial part.

And most typical romances have at least two.

Eventually more danger occurs, more rescuing needs to be done by the man, who isn’t as good as hover stalking/protecting her as he lets on. Thankfully he vanquishes the villain who’s been the cause of the trouble, finally having played his hand somewhere during chapter 12, getting us to the climax of the story. Something that has already occurred at least once during the informercial, and will happen again before you finally get to the end. Ah, but I meant the literary climax. The other type occurs in the upcoming chapter, where the two lovers try things they hadn’t yet thought of during the marathon session in chapter 8. I flip right through to the point where body parts are in sedate positions, and the throbbing and thrusting has stopped.

The end of the book finds the couple planning a wedding or where to put the bassinet, because there is no such thing as birth control in these books, no matter how modern the setting. She will, of course give up everything to follow him, because someone has to keep the crotch in his slacks from ripping out completely, and her former life just has no meaning in comparison.

Some people read those books voraciously. I read them, in hopes that someone will finally manage to surprise me in that genre. But all the heaving, sighing, throbbing and breasts in full headlight mode just is not my style. Well it would be, if I thought the characters were believable and the plots weren’t transparent variations of a very consistent theme. In my defense though, there are other books I loath like Dostoevsky. I tried one of his books once, and gave up after the third chapter which was the continuation of a conversation that occurred in someone’s bedroom begun in chapter one. I don’t like fiction where the theme is overtly religious in nature, Westerns or books written by someone who has spent time as a televangelist, a politician or an overly paid political pundit. That still gives me loads of things to read. I’ll even give Dostoevsky another try, if there is a book that moves along somewhat faster.

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Tube Tops and other fashion disasters


ImageThe other day I rode past a woman walking down street. It was a beautiful and warm Spring afternoon, and many, including this woman was dressed for the warmer temps. It was that attire that caught my attention. She was wearing sandals and a tube top dress, the top of which she continually tugged upwards, as her upper half was failing to keep the tubed structure in place, She was better rounded in her chest compared to me. You’d think such a body style would help keep stretchy material in place. It didn’t.

I used to own a dress like that. I was fifteen and had the figure of a dehydrated willow sapling. When I sneezed I risked that dress falling all the way to the floor. I lacked much for the fabric to grab a hold of. I too continually tugged the dress upwards. I don’t think tube tops were ever designed with stability as a factor. I now have the figure of a badly neglected and quite overgrown hydrangea. I don’t dare let that much stretchy material near me.

One would have thought that such a “comfortable” article of clothing would have let it die its deserved unnatural death; But for some reason, fashion designers and buyers deemed it perfect for a renewal. It was comfortable, as long as you didn’t move, or breathe. Its not the first time they’ve used some design of the past to spur the fond memories of nostalgia upon us female purchasers. Interestingly, our male counterparts are essentially immune to the fickle trends of fashion. Sure they’ve subcummed to the leisure suit, skinny or ultra wide ties, permed faux afros.

I remember the leisure suit. It was part of the double knit era. Double knit was a kind of polyester impervious to any destructive attempt, except fire, where contact with an open flame would melt it into an impervious mass. My dad had a denim looking Leisure suit. It sort of looked like denim, with white yarn for stitching. My step-mom bought it for him, deciding he needed something decent to wear to church. “Decent” likely meant, a suit not  from the 1960′s. I also remember an elder at our church. He had a salmon colored one with white patent leather shoes to match. He was a grandfather.  I got the feeling that wearing such an obviously gorgeous outfit made him the envy of all the other men, and the object of admiration of all the women, or so he must have thought. I thought he looked ridiculous.

Men don’t seem usually to care about fashion. Most ignore hemlines, fabric patterns or whether rhinestones are in style or not. Ok, maybe most emphatically draw the line at rhinestones and anything zebra print. One of the few lasting men’s fashion changes in the past few years are boxer briefs, which many women promptly borrowed right out of their men’s underwear drawers. Designers understand that men cannot be as easily swayed as us so sneak in fashion changes bit by bit.  So men have had boxer briefs and some younger men have accepted wearing pants designed for the waistband to fit somewhere above the knee.

I know I haven’t cared for a lot of the style changes over the years. I hated low rise pants for example. I’m long waisted and there wasn’t a single pair of low rise pants that were designed to completely cover my butt. To me they were too much like tube tops, prompting me to constantly tug upwards.

Skinny jeans is another fashion I don’t get.  I never have had skinny calves. Its why I can’t wear knee high boots, or knee high socks.

Shoulder pads. They are actually trying to sneak those back in…sigh. Just what women need, to look like their jackets are still being held by a clothes hanger.

Leg warmers. Actually, they weren’t revived, they just have never completely died out.

Push up bras, water bras, t-shirt bras, wonderbras, water-bras, sports bras, genie bras…I wish they’d stop trying to re-invent them, and make one that not only fit correctly, but was also comfortable, or better yet, design tops so such torture devices are irrelevant.

Sure, fashion can help give us a bit of individuality, at least that is what we tell ourselves. Few of us were truly one of a kind garments, Most of us have picked something in our size and color from a rack of at least 15 others just like it. Sure fashion is diverse in whom it targets, as long as you consider yourself in one of six categories, pre-pubescent,  forever 16, too tight-too little of,  ”when is the baby due?”, AARP, and “I’ve given up”. These days I find myself increasing wavering between the latter two. They seem to be the safest options. Plus that’s where all the elastic waistbands reside.

I’m not immune to the sea-tides of fashion, I like cute shoes, even if I know better than to buy a pair, much less walk in them. I love camisoles I can layer under v-necked shirts or a jacket. I enjoy wearing soft cropped pants with a pretty blouse in the summer. I like pretty dresses, but I have a hard time finding one that won’t cause my lip to curl in derision when I try one on. However, I’m happiest in an oversized t-shirt and yoga or sweat pants with fuzzy slippers on my feet. I pray such clothing items never disappear from my apparel options. They are what give me fashion respite and the courage to wear “be seen in public” clothes.

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Colt 45 and a People Magazine


A few years ago, I wrote a couple of  longer short stories then my usual 1500 words or less versions. They’ve been languishing away in a document folder as I’ve had no success finding a publisher, plus I’m really lazy when it comes to the “non-fun” part of writing, finding an audience that will pay me. So I’m just gonna “publish” them here.  Feedback, comments, literary critique is of course welcome. 

 

Colt 45 and a People Magazine

            Her mother’s walker was the cause of  Cammie’s painful predicament. Margaret had been given an ancient walker by a well meaning friend. Cammie took an instant dislike to the device. Margaret wouldn’t part with the thing. It was dented so badly on one leg that the metal was almost pinched together. The dented leg caused the whole contraption to lean at a slight angle. Cammie had purchased a new walker and took the old one to the curb to be picked up by the trash service. The next morning, her mother was using the walker. How Margaret had managed to retrieve it, Margaret wasn’t telling. She liked the thing for reasons Cammie simply couldn’t understand. Several times Cammie tried to get rid of the walker, even taking it to the county landfill only to discover it had once again found its way back home. How Margaret kept retrieving the thing was a mystery Cammie couldn’t pry from her mother or any of her mother’s friends. The walker was one of the few things Cammie and her mother disagreed on.

Cammie lived at home with her mother. Cammie’s mom, Margaret had suffered a stroke when Cammie was a senior in high school. A former middle school Phys ed teacher and marathon enthusiast, her mother’s world was mostly reduced to forays through the house using the rickety walker. Once Margaret had gotten home from the hospital and had started physical therapy, Cammie’s father packed up and moved to Atlanta with the administrative assistant from First Prime Realty. He announced that as Margaret could no longer be a real wife to him, he was moving on.  Cammie was devastated by her father’s abandonment. She wanted to rail at him for what he had done, while at the same time beg him to come back. That her father refused to return her calls or respond to any emails or letters did not help Cammie much. He had abandoned her as well his wife, and the loss was keen.

Cammie couldn’t help but hear the gossip about her family. The conversation usually stopped when she drew near and those speaking animatedly before she approached stood awkwardly or tried to change the subject. She knew what they were saying about her spending prom night at home with her mother instead of on a date, speculations about why her dad really left. Rumors meant for her not to hear, but heard by her anyway

Margaret said little about her husband’s leaving for several months, instead insisting on getting herself as self-sufficient as possible. She tried to get Cammie to go to the university on the softball scholarship Cammie had been awarded.

“Follow your dreams, darlin’.” Margaret told her daughter. “I’ll manage just fine.” Cammie had considered doing just that, for about five minutes. She couldn’t get past the guilt she knew she’d feel for leaving her mother at such a time. Instead she turned down the scholarship and commuted to the community college in Kingston for her Criminal Justice degree.

One day Cammie came home from class to find several boxes packed. Inside contained what little remained of her father’s presence. “Take this stuff wherever you wish, preferably the landfill.” her mother told Cammie.

“You sure about this mom?”

“Quite. Your father isn’t coming back, and I am not going to waste another moment dwelling on what was. Life goes on, and so do we.”

Cammie was surprised that her mother was willing to throw away over 20 years of memories, but took the boxes to the curb for pick-up. She kept for herself only the small photo album of her parent’s wedding which she kept hidden in the back of her closet. After that day Cammie also stopped trying to contact her father. It hurt deeply, to do so, but she realized that her mother was right. Nothing she could do or say would change what had happened.

The two and a half years it took Cammie to get her associate’s degree were well spent. Margaret slowly improved, moving out of a short term care facility to home, from a wheelchair to a walker. The progression was agonizingly slow but continual. Mother and daughter grew even closer, as they adjusted, healed and began anew. Margaret would never teach another gym class or run in a marathon. Her life had been altered so unfairly, in Cammie’s eyes, but the daughter couldn’t help but admire her mother’s unflagging spirit and positive determination.

Cammie had come home from work the night before, to see her mother sprawled on the living room floor, walker a few feet away. “Mom!” Cammie cried as she rushed to her mother’s side. “ Are you ok? Are you hurt?”

“No. I just feel foolish, and want to strangle that damned cat of yours.”

Cammie looked over at Sahara. The big tabby was perched graciously on the back of the living room sofa. He looked back Cammie then chose that moment to clean his hindquarters.

Being properly dismissed by her cat, Cammie turned to her mother. “What did he do this time?”

“He tripped me, that’s what he did!”

“Tripped you? How? With that walker you almost have four legs, ok three and a half. And what were you doing up anyway? How long have you been like this?” Cammie looked all over her mother for signs of injury.

“You can stop poking at me” Margaret said, grabbing Cammie’s hand. “I’m fine, darlin’.“

“You sure?”

“Quite sure. I’ve only been here about 30 minutes. I was in dire need of a Dr. Pepper, so I was on my way to the kitchen.”

Cammie looked at the cat who had finished with his back end and had moved on to his whiskers. “What does that have to do with Sahara?”

“Sir Eatsalot over there must have thought I was going to give him a treat, so he bowled me over trying to beat me into the kitchen.”

Cammie looked sternly at her cat. Her cat looked back at her with a “what did I do?” expression. Sighing, she turned to Margaret. “Ok Mom, if you aren’t hurt, let’s get you up. And tomorrow I’m tossing that piece of crap out.”

“You mean the cat right?” Margaret retorted.

Cammie laughed at that. “You know exactly what I mean.”

Cammie went to the closet and put the new walker she had purchased within reach. Then she reached around under her mother’s arms, and pulled to get the older woman up. That’s when it happened. She felt a pop in her right shoulder and then sudden nearly blinding pain. She nearly dropped her mother, but managed somehow to help her up and under the support of the walker. Cammie then sat as quickly as she could into the nearest chair, her face ashen.

Cammie? Are you ok sweetie?

“I’m fine Mom, just pulled something a bit. You gain a pound or two?”

Margaret snorted. “I’d like to know where?” Margaret despite slow pace of life the stroke had fated her still retained the slim athletic form she had maintained all her life. Margaret was an older version of her daughter with the same green eyes, brown curls, and quirky sense of humor. The only visible remnants of the stroke that nearly killed Margaret were the much restricted mobility, an occasional stutter and her half-cocked smile. Margaret, having competed in marathons all over the South East, had been training for her first go at the Boston Marathon when the stroke had cut that aspiration short. Cammie intended to run that marathon herself in a year, even if she had to crawl the distance on her hands on knees. She’d been training in secret since graduation from Tri-tech.

Cammie went to the kitchen to start dinner and to raid the cabinet for some Aspirin. Reaching to open the cabinet door almost caused Cammie to collapse to the floor from the injured shoulder, but she managed to pull herself together. Sahara who had followed his mistress into the kitchen, hopped up onto the counter and rubbed his body against her hand.

“Keep my secret from Mom won’t you? She asked her cat. Sahara responded by licking her hand. They had a pact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Sticks and Stones

Reblogged from Sylvie is a blogger:



Sticks and stones may break my bones

But words will never hurt me.


Ok who believes that the message of that little nursery rhyme is true? No one? Well neither do I. In reality words can hurt very much. People are capable of saying the most horrible things to one another.

“Why can’t you be smart like your sister?”

“Look at you!

Read more… 716 more words

As part of the Lenten season, I keep returning to the idea of compassion, kindness, gentleness, the whole," how should we treat others." idea. Its a concept I just cant let go of.

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